5 Questions for An Unpopular Clown Emoticon
We get weekly reports here at Smiley Headquarters about our 500 most popular emoticons. The list can change from week-to-week depending on what's happening in the world, or based on the time of year. But one smiley that's never gotten close to cracking the top 500 - nor the top 5,000 for that matter - is our "jumping clown" icon.
To be frank, I have no idea how this little guy got included in our smiley library, but what's done is done. So I thought I'd sit down with the jumping clown and ask him a few questions.
How the hell did you become part of Smiley Central? Seriously, is our security that lax?
Everyone loves a clown. And a jumping clown? Hilarious!
No, that's simply not true. Clowns are creepy. Are you an imposter sent from some other emoticon company to spy on us?
What? No! Preposterous! I was designed right here by one of your designers. And I've brought smiles and joy to nearly a dozen people in my 5 years with Smiley Central.
I've got to ask... you know the rolling ball is coming back, and yet you jump in surprise every time. WTF?
Wow, you're cynical. I'm an entertainer. I'm old school. I work hard to get someone's attention, and if that takes faking genuine surprise every two seconds when the same rolling ball threatens to gently knock into my oversized shoes, I'm going to feign surprise, dammit. Sue me, at least I'm good at what I do.
Do you have a family?
You really want to go there?
I'm already there.
Fine. Yes, I have a wife and two kids. Whom I don't see when I'm "on the road." It can be very lonely when you're added to an online communication, praying for the recipient to quickly read that email or instant message, waiting patiently to jump over that ball as many times as they demand of you, begging the pixelated Gods for that messenger window to close or that email to finally hit the trash can so you can return home. FREEDOM!
Dude, enough with the sob story. You've been shared fewer times than a tapioca pizza.
Is it my fault most people don't have text conversations that require a jumping clown narrowly avoiding a slowly rolling rubber ball to accentuate their point of view or emotional state? I didn't choose to be who I am, I was drawn this way! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to report back to Incredimail.
Feel bad for the clown? Share him with friends! (Sorry, clown family.)
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Exit Interview with the George W. Bush talking smiley
Bored 2008 New Year Smiley Speaks Out
