To call the night of my senior prom strange would be an understatement. It was weirder than weird. Let's start at the beginning.

It was a dark and stormy night... No wait, can't plagiarize the great Charles Shulz, let's try this again!

It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood... oh geez now I'm ripping off Fred Rogers. Why don't I just skip the theatrics and get right into the story.

I couldn't afford a limo, so I had to borrow Dad's Oldsmobile to go pick up my date, Penelope Guadalupe McFarfegnugen, Penny. I got to her place, did the customary meeting with the parents and the pictures on the front lawn. The whole time her father just stared at me, like he was mentally taking my measurements for the undertaker.

We drove off to the prom at the "Pink Whooping Crane" (don't ask). The whole time there I felt like I was being watched, I would soon find out that just because I was paranoid, doesn't mean they weren't out to get me...

At some point during the festivities, everything just stopped! Everyone was frozen, except me and Penny. She pulled me outside to where her father was waiting. Things were getting weirder and weirder. They explained to me that they were from another galaxy and needed my help. They had been looking for a creature with a certain DNA signature that was supposed to be some galactic savior. Apparently, I was that being. Here I though they were going to tell me they knew I got the high score on Asteroids, like in "The Last Starfighter", (great flick by the way). So, we got in their space ship, I flew off to fight evil in an epic battle. I succeeded by actually cutting the cheese at the enemy leader. Human farts are toxic after all.

They flew me back home and returned me to the prom at the exact moment that time was frozen. Ever so grateful, they left me with a suitcase full of rare gems. I turned those into cash, bought several thousand lottery tickets and won the big jackpot. I started a .com, went public and sold my shares before the bubble burst. Now I'm working here, bringing joy to the world through SmileyCentral.