Mitt Romney will have mittens named after him so his campaign people can get the population to say, "Hey, you got your Mitt Romnies on? They'll keep you warm in the storm."

Barack Obama will only accept support from people whose names begin with "O" like Oprah, Omar, Oscar, Olivia, Otis or Orinna, even Omigod qualifies.

John McCain will continue to explain he is not related to John McClane, the cop portrayed by Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movies.

Like John McCain, Ron Paul will tirelessly tell the public that he and Ru Paul are not the same person.

Fred Thompson, who acted in Die Hard 2: Die Harder with Bruce Willis (who portrayed John McClane), will emphasize that because he didn't die in Die Hard he's indestructible and should become president.

Mike Huckabee will distance himself from a movie he had nothing to do with called I ♥ Hukabee's.

Rudy Giuliani will have to keep setting the record straight that correct pronunciation of his name does not mean he's Jewish.

The electoral college, which, like the University of Phoenix, has no physical building, will begin a 4-year program to explain how the electoral college works.

Hillary Clinton will win the election because she can pronounce "nuclear" correctly. (Hint: it's not new·cue·lar!)