The Easter Bunny is one misunderstood holiday hare. Every year he manages to hide eggs and candy for millions of children. In one evening. But no one knows how he does it. (Although MyFunCards.com has a theory.)

Even more mysterious is the Easter Bunny's personal life. Is he married? Does he get a bulk candy discount? What does he do the rest of the year?

Turns out ol' Peter Cottontail is a big fan of SmileyBuzz and has provided us with this exclusive list of what's on tap for the fuzzy bunny starting March 24th.

Attend weekly poker night with Santa, the Tooth Fairy and Charlie Sheen.

Host awkward interview with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

Remove Eliot Spitzer from AIM Buddy List.

Anchor Kansas City Royals pitching rotation.

Make two-minute appearance on CBS's Big Brother. Lose all faith in humankind and contemplate retirement.

Upload own I Drink Your Milkshake impersonation on YouTube.

Clear calendar for March 24th Britney episode of "How I Met Your Mother".

Figure out just what makes Cadbury Mini Eggs so freakin' addicting.

Finally introduce media to wife, Kate.

Star in new TLC series, "Easter Bunny & Kate Plus 800"

Play a game as point guard for New York Knicks. End game as Knicks leading scorer for the season.

Buy Yahoo to spite Microsoft. Sell Yahoo to Cadbury for Mini-Egg secret recipe.

Remove Dawn Wells from AIM Buddy List.

Seriously consider Al Gore's voicemail request to remove fake Easter basket grass in favor of biodegradable packing popcorn.

Create a Zwinky avatar, deliver virtual Easter Eggs in Zwinktopia.

Testify in front of Congress that growth hormones were not taken in record-breaking 1998 "hop around the world in less than six hours" Easter egg hiding spree.

Consider including maple bacon lollipops in next year's Easter baskets.

Release autobiograhy, "Confessions of a Holiday Rabbit"; provide SmileyBuzz with following exclusives:

- Started wearing Dr. Scholl's in 1994.
- Briefly dated Lindsay Lohan.
- Allergic to jelly beans.
- Met wife in produce section of local Whole Foods. (True story.)
- Don't care much for Wolf Blitzer.

Give self a home perm.

Audition to star in Legally Blonde on Broadway. (Anything to stop Federline from invading New York.)

Remove maple bacon lollipops from AIM Buddy List.